Tonight was huge in other, even more important ways, though. Today was the boys' first day back to school after the two week Christmas Vacation. Usually, getting back into the routine of getting up really early is rough. Even on the 'school routine' they often don't do well in the mornings, are extremely exhausted and often cannot function enough to get to school. Add to that the fact that during vacation, they were staying up half the night with friends and sleeping until noon and you have a recipe for disaster.
In spite of that, they got up and got off to school just fine this morning. But tonight, I saw a Hunter that was so different. In an amazing, wonderful way! I kept waiting for that grouchy, angry moment or the grumpiness to come out. I didn't even realize that it was his 'normal' until this totally other person appeared tonight in Hunter's body! I hardly recognized this smiley, happy, outgoing kid. Hunter is normally very introverted. He is distracted by intrusive thoughts and he does not normally engage for long periods of time. When he does, it's wonderful, but those are usually short moments and they are gone. Most conversations seem to be (from my perspective) something he just puts up with because he has to. When a group of others will think something is funny, often he is the only one that doesn't really laugh.
Tonight; He was happy and smiley all evening. He had the energy to go out and work on his Chevelle in the cold shop AND make a wooden base for his new pet rat's cage. Even thinking about it now, I am in shock. And the fact that he did it all with a smile, while connected and engaged in conversation was.... well strange! Normally, he talks about needing to do something, but does not do it. A part of him wants to, but he dreads it and he will bury himself in his phone all evening. Especially when he is tired~ it's best to just try to get him to bed as early as possible, because he is miserable to be around and can become really angry.
When he came in the house from doing his projects, he was engaging and 'connected'. He looked us in the eye and when we conversed and was in a great mood all evening. At about 6:30 he said he was really tired, and I could see it on his face, but he still had a great attitude and was happy all evening. When I asked him to come watch a short video on the computer, he had a big smile and laughed some at the funny parts~ not what I expected of him at all. I didn't realize it, but I was expecting him to say it was dumb or some other negative comments, because that is normal for him.
After the shock of seeing this happy Hunter, I realize that is who he really is. The person we have been living with for years is the "Lyme Hunter". And while I know those symptoms all too well, it's impossible to know what is really inside, behind the Lyme curtain. Who people are is buried under all those slimy spirochetes, brain fog, exhaustion, pain, depression, and overwhelming damage. Again, I know this firsthand, but to see it in my own son is so amazing that I am almost afraid to believe it. I know he is not out of the woods yet and he will have moments of ups and downs. Tonight was definitely a huge "Up"!
Colby also came to me this evening and voiced something to me all on his own that I had been thinking for the past couple weeks. He is normally very, very sensitive to gluten. Within a couple hours, it has an obvious effect on his behavior. He becomes hyper active, annoying, repeats questions, etc. I an always tell when he comes home from somewhere and he's had gluten. He talks a mile a minute and cannot listen or focus. He is really loud and over-excited. It is extremely annoying to be around and my nerves can barely handle it.
The past couple weeks, with Christmas Vacation things have been crazy. A lot of extra food, (dinner rolls, eating at subway, McDonalds with friends...) and he has not turned down an opportunity to eat gluten. At all. In fact, last night was my birthday and we had dinner rolls and Colby had his share. During all of Christmas Vacation, not once did I notice his gluten-induced Energizer Bunny come out. He had friends come over to stay or he went and stayed the night with friends almost every night except the couple right before Christmas. They stayed up until 3:30 am, he had a big bonfire one night which required a lot of physical work from him and clean up the next day, then he went out riding his dirtbike all day one day in the super cold... I mean, every possible ingredient for a meltdown was thrown in to the mix, and he was cool as a cucumber for the past two weeks. Not once did I notice a reaction to gluten.
He would normally be totally exhausted, have a meltdown, and become sick. Last year, every time he had gluten for a couple days in a row, he would get a virus and be really sick. He missed a TON of school last year for that reason alone. One time he was out for nine days in a row, he was so ill. I have been waiting for the ball to drop, and it hasn't. Again~ Weird in a wonderful way!
So, tonight Colby came up to me and said "You know, I noticed that gluten has not been effecting me anymore". Those had been my exact thoughts for the past couple weeks. I had noticed, too but I don't want to put ideas into their heads about their progress. I really want them to experience the changes and tell me so I know it's coming from them. This is SO HUGE. The thought of him not having to live gluten free for the rest of his life makes me so happy. I want to celebrate and scream it from the rooftops, but I am afraid it's still too early to declare a victory. I can't help it. Living with Lyme, you know there are ups and downs, good moments and bad. Do I think he's totally healed? I cannot allow myself to hope for that much yet. It would be like thinking you won the lottery, only to find out you did not. I can't handle the let-down. Even though my heart is bursting with joy for the possibility, I am at the same time dreading the day when I have to post here to say that he is again experiencing bad reactions. It's so dangerous to hope, and I am afraid to have them crushed, but the heart wants what it wants. We will see what the next few months bring :)